one day

listening to the rain tonight
feeling the thunder in my bones
i'm filled with dreams and longing
for a life i want both of us to know
right now you cannot see my love
or how much you mean to me
but i do know you love the rain
and the thunder holds your dreams
tonight my heart is full of you
like the lightening fills the sky
if i could choose one moment
just to spend with you
it'd be a porchswing in a thunderstorm
swaying gently in the breeze
a cozy blanket surrounding us
my legs across your knees
perfection in unspoken words
being beside each other the only need
lovers sitting in quiet silence
hearts and fingers intertwined

rules of attraction

the rules of attraction
seem to constantly shift
rough around the edges
at the same time refined
thick-heeled black boots
and a tuff-looking bike
sterling silver against suntanned skin
soft caribbean-blue eyes
always-sexy crows feet (and dimples)
from that laughter and smile
how can you say you are a shadow
when daily i stand in your light?
a bundle of contradicting images
each more enticing than the next
i was captivated in the moment
you stepped into my line of sight
i'm drowning in this crush
and praying for a lifeline
is the last thing on my list

for max & claire

you have had my heart
and all of my love
since the first time
i spoke your names
the hopes and dreams
that are wrapped in you
fill my soul with a peace
i never knew before
i feel your presence in everything
in the crisp winter air
in the warmth of the sun
i see you in everything
in the clear blue sky
in puffy clouds and daffodils
and especially in the moon and stars
i believe you are mine
and will come to me in this life
when i am ready
and i will love you
and you will never doubt
your place in this world
and in my heart
and in my life
my babies...i love you so much

love,
your momma

when life begins - 10 november 2001

for ages and ages
the debate continues on
everyone has a theory
everyone has their own truth
when does life begin?
at conception
in the first breath at birth
or with the first beat of a heart
some clutch fiercely
to the beliefs they've been taught
others cradle reverently
the beliefs they have earned
for 30 years i was in this world
believing my life began
conception ~ 10 november 1970
believing i was alive
marking birthdays, passing years
each 15th of july
believing two small days in eternity
defined the existence in me
little did i know
life truly had not begun in me
my conception came with pastel hand-coloured lilies
my first breath was taken when you first kissed me
and my heart truly found its rhythm
the first time 'i love you' was whispered in my ear
wrapped tightly in your arms
on a glowing makeshift dancefloor
my life began with you loving me
under soft blue lights
and a red-painted heart
10 november 2001

summer solstice

the wind gently rustles
through the trees
the sun presses warmth
into my skin
effortlessly
quietly
in an instant
easing my troubled mind
like your words have done
so many times
effortlessly
quietly
in a heartbeat
reminding me
i am alive
i am a survivor
i am strong enough
i will make it through

a letter to you

06.06.2005 ~ 0700

Dear G ~
I'm sitting here in the lab lounge,
just a few minutes before I go into work.
I was awakened this morning by the
sweetest dream of you. I'm not quite
sure where we were, or what... but
I knew your presence and when I
finally saw you, my heart did a
flip-flop. I can see your smile
as clear as I see this pen to
paper and could drown in the
blue of your eyes. You motioned
me to come sit next to you,
and when I did, you reached
out so tenderly and in another
heartbeat our fingers were
warmly inter-twined. The last
image I recall is me turning
to look at you as you squeezed
my hand and when I looked
at you, you softly mouthed
"iloveyou"...then my cruel alarm
interrupted...and I am left with a
heavy heart today...missing you
more than I could ever imagine.

Love always,
Cons

i will...

03.21.2005/04.18.2005

i will kiss you
with all the tenderness
you've dreamed of for so long
with love tangible enough
to bring a tear to your eyes

i will touch you
with hands so gentle and strong
that will heal all the aches of your heart
with a deliberateness
that will take your breath
and make the whole world go away

i will look into your eyes
with so much love and passion
you will never doubt
you are the only one who holds my heart

i will memorize you
learning all the meanings
the way you set your shoulders
when you are trying to be strong
the pensive look and clouded eyes
when something is on your mind
your quiet sighs
when you have so much you want me to know
i will listen to you
i will hear you
everything you say between your words
i will study you
learning all the meanings
to understand the beautiful soul you are

i will encourage you
i will support you
in every dream you hold
for your life and for ours
i will comfort you
if any of those dreams dont come true

i will keep all your secrets
in the safest place in my heart
a trusted confidant
learned from how you have kept all of mine

i will laugh with you
i will cry with you
i will share all the joys and sorrows
the best and hardest parts of our life
and everything in between

i will open my heart to you
i will trust you enough
to show you all of who i am
my weakness and strengths, the scars
my fears and my dearest dreams
and the sparkle you put it my eyes

i will love you
the way you have always hoped to be loved
the way you deserve to be loved
with all of my heart
with all of my life